Tobi's nanny
by Kakashi's LoveChild
Summary: Pein hires a nanny to keep Tobi out of the way. The catch, she's beautiful and all the Akutski want her.
1. Hello Hitomi

, I'm approximating most of the Akatski's personalities on wide based fan speculation, since as far as I know most members haven't appeared in the series. I don't own Naruto or any of the characters, except my OC Hitomi

Tobi gets a nanny!

Several of the members were lounging on the sofa when there was a knock on the cave door.. Sasori looked up from the puppet he was making, "Isn't someone going to get that?? He asked annoyed. He looked at Zetsu, Diedra, and Kisame and was answered by a chorus of groan. Putting down his project he headed for the door to a beautiful girl with long silky black hair and large blue eyes. She was wearing a white spaghetti tank top, tight blue jean capris, and ninja sandals. "Damn." Kisami muttered, "Shouda got the door."

The girl steeped inside lugging a large suitcase. "I'm Hitomi and I'm here to see a miser Pien. Sasori nodded and lead her to his office. "New member, dama?" Diedra ask. The wooden man just shook his head as if to say _I don't know_. And went back to his puppet. "Bout damn time something excited," Kisami grumbled. "Now we've got a hottrie in the group maybe thing's liven up. "She looks delicious!" Zetsu added.

"Wait Konan's a girl too, yeah!" Diedra reminded the fish-man. "I said hot girl." Kisami remarked. The three on the couch chuckled while sasori shook his head. Hey, Diedra," added, "Now that there are two girl, when can play spin the bottle, cause there's another girl, so more than one of will get a kiss!"

"Or more," Kisami added smirking.Sasori turned to them, "Is sex all you guys think about," he asked. Kisami jumped up and yelled, "YES!" this was followed by another course of idiotic giggles.. Sasorl shook his head yet again, gathered his tools and puppet and left. He stuck his head back through the door, "Oh, and Dora's coming on, I'd leave if I were you,"

As if on cue Tobi skipped into the room and turned on the TV. "Yay, Sempai is gonna watch Dora with Tobi!" Zetsu and Kisami got up and left the room, but Diedra was glomped by the enthusiastic mask wearing shinobi before he could escape. 'Now Sempai, when Dora says 'Swipper no swipping you have say it to," Tobi shouted with glee.. _Damn_, Diedra thought _I know, I can create a diversion and escape! Wait, I'll blow up the TV, no, can't do that, Itachi gets pissed if he misses his I Love Lucy _reruns.

The blonde ninja was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Dora, and a voice somewhere behind him shout "Swipper no swiping!" he turned to see the mysterious girl standing behind him smiling. "Sempai, you didn't say it!" Tobi cried out in disappointment..

The girl sat beside them on the sofa. She turned to face Tobi, "Are you Tobi. He nodded adding, "Tobi is a good boy!" "My name is Hitomi and leader sama sked me to come here so I could be your friend." Tobi pointed at Diedra, "This is Diedra sempai."

"Isn't that cute, he called you his mentor," she said patting Tobi on the head. "Hn, "Diedra snorted. Tobi's eyes teared over, Hitomi reached out to comfort him. He buried his face between her breasts and let loud, obviously fake sobs. Sobs. _Maybe the little bastard's smarter than I give him credit for. _The blonde thought. "You hurt his feelings, "she scolded

"Tobi, when the show goes off, will you introduce me to all your friends," Hitomi asked sweetly. Tobi, who was once again staring intently at the TV nodded. Pien excited his office and walked up behind Diedra, "Diedra, inform the other members we're having a meeting when Itachi returns," The blonde nin jumped with surprise hearing Leader's voice booing from behind. "Yes leader same," he replied jumping off the couch and scurrying away. "Did I say you could leave yet," the man said angrily." Diedra flinched and hastily walked back to Pien.

"Since you blew up Itach's room last month, and he had to move into the spare bedroom, there are obviously no extra rooms, so you have to share with Hitomi now task her things to your room and try to find some uniforms that would fit. I'm sure there are some around, Konan was her size when she first joined."

The blonde immediately picked up her suitcases and carried them to his room, head bowed in defeat. Tobi waved goodbye to his sempai. Hitomi followed the pouting shinobi. He threw open the door and tossed her bags inside. Okay, where do I put my stuff," she asked as he sunk down on the bed." Look, I'm only here because the big guy held a sword to my throat, so I'm obviously unhappy. I'm not afraid of death, but when someone wants you to be somewhere so badly that they threaten your life, you do it. Besides, it's not like a family or something tying me down..." she commented.

She opened a drawer filled with boxer shorts and opened her suitcase on the floor and began taking out her panties. She shoved his clothing aside to make room for her own. He almost had a nosebleed when she pulled a skimpy pair of red panties, folded them and placed them neatly in the drawer.

"You don't talk much do you," she asked taking an equally skimpy bra, he twitched uncontrollably. "Did you make all these sculptures, they're amazing, but I always thought of art as fleeting." Diedra swallowed hard. "I mean you can only get so much enjoyment out of it becomes boring. She finished putting away her underwear, and starting putting away tops and really short short When she finished she tossed the suitcases aside and opened the other one. She grabbled a handful of headbands. She saw him staring and explained, "Every time I kill a ninja I take their headband mine is the one from the land of snow."

Diedra eyed the headbands nervously. "H-how many are their/? He asked. "There are only 57 there, I lost the rest." OMG he thought, I'm _rooming with a psychopath, at least_ _she's hot..._ She turned to him and smirked, "Are you checking me out?" He swallowed nervously, "Nope, I gotta go, Ledersama told me tell everyone about the meeting!" He shouted nervously, making a hasty exit. Hitomi shook her head _I wonder if I freaked freaked him out with the head band thing?_ She decided that was probably it and hurried her unpacking so she would be ready for the meeting.

A few days had passed and Hitomi had began to become acoustomed to the Akutski and there strange mannerisms


	2. Tension Among Thieves

Author's note: I know the character are OC, in some cases really OC, but this story would be really hard to pull of otherwise, I don't own Naruto or any of the characters, damn, I wish I did.

Life with the Akutski was difficult to get used to as Hitomi soon learned. Someone had to intervene twice, once when Zetsu tried of eat her and again when Hidan had tried to sacrifice her to Jasin, the other members had followed screams to the white haired man's bedroom, expecting the worse, only to find they were coming from him as she stood one foot firmly on his chest, and holding the sharp end of his scythe at his throat. Pein had to admit, he was impressed, and a little turned on, but made Hitomi let Hidan up, although he had taken the scythe just in case.

Most upsetting was Deidra's behavior towards her. Even though they shared a room, he barely talked and slept as far away from her as he could without falling out of bed. It kind of hurt, she assumed he didn't like her. That of course wasn't true, he actually liked her a lot, he was just too nervous to let her know, and it was very unusual for ANYTHING to make an Akutski nervous.

Hitomi decided to stop her musing and wake Tobi breakfast she threw off the blanket and got up, noticing that once again Diedra had fallen out of bed trying to avoid touching her. She sighed, gathering some fresh clothes and heading into the adjoining bathroom to change She put on her regular clothes, she didn't have uniforms, it turned out Konan's old ones didn't fit, Konan's chest was too small and her ass was too big, a point she mentioned to Konan every chance she got. She giggled at the thought as she pulled on her shortest shorts and her favorite cropped tank top.

Walking back out of the bathroom and tossing her night clothes in the laundry hamper. Exiting the room, she went to wake Tobi. She strode up to the door and knocked, "Tobi! Time to get up!" She called. Pausing she sighed before knocking harder. A few moments later she heard a loud thump, and the sound of his foot steps. He pulled open the door yawning. "What 'Tomi chan. Breakfast?" he asked excitedly. She nodded, grabbing his arm as he tried to scramble out of the door. "Do you really want the others to see your pink bunny jimmies?" He shook his head and closed the door.

Hitomi sighed and leaned against the wall, waiting as patiently. Tobi finally emerged. "Tobi wants pancakes!" he yelled racing to the kitchen. She followed immediately spotting Pein, who was sitting at the table wrestling with the morning paper, noting he was angry. He had apparently been arguing with Konan.

Hitomi immediately started making coffee then pulled a box of sugary cereal from a cabinet she quickly poured Tobi a bowl of the sweet, crunchy stuff before he could start complaining. The coffee was made by this time, she poured a cup and added the right amount of cream and sugar and sat it if front of the notorious leader.

He grunted and glared at Konan, "That's why I called you useless, woman, you can't even make coffee," he growled. Hitomi, uncomfortable with the tension, began pulling pots and pans out of the cupboards. When Pein had calmed down she approached him and asked, "Leader sama, what would you like for breakfast?" After a few moments, he grunted his response, "Pancakes."

"Alright," she replied, "Please tell Kakzu we need groceries" she requested digging in the cupboards and pantries and finding just enough ingredients to make the requested breakfast for him and the rest of the Akutski

The troop of S-ranked criminals had begun filing in the kitchen by this time, "Where's the food, you fuckin' whore," Hidan shouted. Hitomi, who was in the process of bring Itachi his coffee, stopped and turned toward the foul mouthed albino and slammed the cup of piping hot java down on his head, shattering it and spilling the steaming liquid all over him, most of which landed in his lap. Piercing screams filled the air. "Hitomi!" Pein said sharply, hiding his grin behind his cup.

"But leader sama! It's not like he'll ever use them, he's a Jasinist!" she protested. On the verge on losing it he left the room and went to his office. Moment's later loud laugher could be heard echoing through the cave. Pouting she retrieved another cup of coffee for Itachi, and then busied herself making pancake batter.

Deidra finally made his appearance, wondering it the kitchen, dark circles under his eyes, hair a tangled mess. The other Akutski stared at him. "Damn, Blondie," Kisami commented, "You look like hell. He looked at Diedra, then at Hitomi, and then at Diedra again. He raised an eyebrow, (do fish, or fishmen have eyebrows?) "But then if I was sharing my room with a girl that looked like that, can't say I'd get much sleep either, if you know what I mean." He hid a grin behind his coffee cup.

"That's not why he's not sleeping!" Hitomi snapped. "Better give her some," he advised, "She's a little bitchy Hitomi grabbed the neck of the fish-man's cloak and jerked him forward with surprising strength. "Shut up or I'll add your headband to my collection!" she threatened through clenched teeth. Deidra flinched, hearing mention of head bands, not looking up at her as she sat a plate of pancakes and a cup of coffee in front of him. Itachi, shot his partner a look, warning him to back off, her brutality and violence toward Hidan had impressed him a great deal.

The raven haired beauty turned her attention back to Tobi. "When you finish your breakfast it's bath time," she reminded him. "But Tobi doesn't want a bath," he protested. "Good boys take their bathes and then help was the dishes.' She reminded him. Kisami flashed a toothy grin, "Hey baby, you can give me a bath." Hitomi grabbed the coffee pot and poured the reaming java in the shark man's lap. His girl-like shriek was enough to make even make Itachi manage a quick chuckle.

Konan frowned and left the table to find Pein. He was in his office, still trying to stop laughing. He stopped when he saw the expression he stopped. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She folded her arms across her chest. "I don't like that girl," she said sharply." Pein's eyes narrowed. "Deal with it," he replied gruffly. "No, get rid of her," she demeaned. Pein stood, bring his fists down on his desk with such force, the wood audibly cracked.

"You dare tell me what do!" he roared, reaching across the desk and striking her. She stood staring at him with her mouth open wide in shock. In al these years that they'd been together had he ever been violent to her. Konan quickly exited the room so he wouldn't see her tears. She ran to her room and slammed the door. _This is all her fault, that bitch, she thinks she can just show up and take over, I'll get even. _Her mind still buzzing, she threw her self on the bed and cried her self to sleep.


	3. A Mission Finally

Here it is finally. Yes I know the characters are OC, I get that a lot, but it's my story dammit. You want characters "In Character" write your own damn story. Now for the standered disclaimer: I did not create Naruto or any of it's characters, nor do I own them, but a girl can dream can't she!

Tobi's Nanny chapter 3, a mission finally.

"Did you happen to find Tobi's bunny pajamas in your laundry? I can't find them and remember taking them off the clothesline. He won't go to sleep without them."

Itachi smirked and moved to let her in. As soon as she stepped inside he slammed the door and pinned her to the wall kissing her passionately. She moaned softly as he simirked into the kiss deepening it.

Itachi maneuvered her toward his bed. As things were about to get more heated, Kisami popped his head in the door.

"Well what do we have here?" he remarked.

The Uchia gave his partner a glare that promised death.

The shark-man held his hands up defensively.

"Before you get too pissed, I was just looking for Hitomi, Leader-sama wants her."

"Not as much as I do right now," Itachi growled.

Kisami smirked

"Maybe leader is thinking the same thing," Kisami mentioned casually as he stepped aside to let her out.

Hitomi was slightly nervous as she approached Pein's room. It was very unsual for her to be apprehensive about anything. She knocked quietly half hoping he wouldn't hear her.

"Enter!" came a booming voice from the other side.

Hitomi tentatively pushed the door open. "Yes, Leader-sama?"

Pein leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head.

"It has come to my attention that your talents are going to waste. It seems I may have vastly underestimated you when I hired you, therefore I'm giving you a mission. Kakazu has asked permission to go after a large bounty and I am sending you along. There is a uniform on your bed that should fit. Change into it, gather your weapons, and report back here for the briefing."

Hitomi bowed. "Thank you Leader-sama. I just need to put Tobi to bed and-"

Pein interrupted her. "Get ready for your mission, Konan will attend to that," he ordered.

She nodded and excited his office ,quickly heading for her room. Changing quickly, she was suddenly glad that she had let Tobi paint her nails last night. She put on the cloak and grabbed her shoes with one hand, holding her hat under one arm.

'_**I actually look like a actual Akutski,' **_she thought excitedly.

As she exited the room she shared with Deidra and walked down the hall, she ran into Kisami and Itachi, who were standing in the hall outside the stoic man's room. Itachi, who had thankfully put on some pants, had the blade of his katana at the sharkman's throat, a thin trail of blood trickled down blue skin. Hitomi quickly slipped part the feuding pair and hurried to Pein's office, somewhat fearful of his reactuion if she delayed him too long.

An unfriendly site met her at their leader's office. Standing inside to open office door was Hidan and his partner Kakazu. The paler man sneered at her. Pein cleared his throat to draw their attention. He shuffled some papers on his desk before speaking.

"Kakazu has asked permission to go after a number of bounties," he explained, "Your killing methods are quite affective I've decided to send you along so the job will get done faster."

"But Leader-sama, what about Tobi?" Hitomi asked, suddenly rembering her primary job in the Akutski.

Pein dismissed her concerns with a wave of his hand.

"The other woman will attend to that," he responded gruffly.

Hitomi nodded and looked to her mission partners. Kakazu was counting money and Hidan was leering at her.

"_Typical_," she though rolling her eyes.

Kakazu finished counting his money and put it away.

"Come on," he said impatiently.

Hitomi blocked him from the door.

"Dead or alive?" she asked.

Kakazu tried to push her out of the way, but she didn't budge. She grabbed the collar of his cloak and pulled him down so she could look him in the eye.

"I asked you a question," she growled.

"Now tell me, are we to bring them in dead or alive?" she demanded..

Kakazu just snorted and tried to pull away but Hitomi was surprisingly strong.

He sighed before he grumbled, "We get the cash either way."

Hidan was standing in the door waiting impatiently.

"Will you two whores hurry up, we don't have all day!" he shouted.

Hitomi smirked...a mission and the chance to aggravate Hidan continuously for a few days. The Akutski just kept getting better and better.


	4. Things Get Interesting

Author's note: Here is where I add all the obligatory B.s. I don't own Naruto, obviously or I would be making lots of money. I'm not. Also want to warn you the character might be somewhat OC. I I need to apologize also that my roleplaying has gotten in the way of my updating. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. After this things will get interesting.

Hitomi stood over the body of a dead rogue ninja. It was ironic that they were rouge ninja hunting other rouge ninja. She took off the dead nin's head band and dipped her fingers in his blood. Almost ceremoniously she pressed her thumb to the metal, leaving her own thumb print.

"Another trophy, bitch?" Hidan asked.

He was cranky because he had to carry several of the corpses. Kakazu ignored him. The girl had easily doubled, maybe even tripled his money and unlike Hidan she was carrying two bodies with out complaining. Hitomi put the head band with the others she had collected in her weapons pouch and picked up the dead men she had been carrying. Kakazu began walking again, making sure he was between the feuding pair.

An hour later all the dead men had all been turned in and Kakazu had tucked away the cash. Hitomi glanced at Kakazu.

"Those men have been following us since we exchanged the money."

The greedy man gave a curt nod.

"What the fuck are you bitches talking about?" Hidan screamed.

The greedy man turned, belting his partner in the gut.

"Every thing might have been fine if you'd kept your damn mouth shut," he growled, "Now we have to fight someone we don't get paid to kill."

Hitomi snorted. "Common thieves aren't worth the effort."

She pulled out her katanas as the three of them turned around. There was a group of five men behind them, some looked frightened when they finally realized they'd been planning on robbing Akutski and ran away. The more foolish, a group of six stood looking menacing.

"Hand over the cash," the presumed leader demanded.

"One, two. Two men hidden," Hitomi counted to herself.

Hidan ran at the group screaming a mixture of curses and prayers swinging his scythe wildly. A man charged Hitomi. and pounced on her. She acted quickly pulling out a kunai and driving it into his chest before he could react and threw him off. Another threw a spear which she caught snapping the handle in her hand. Kakazu was a few feet away strangling a man with his threads and Hidan had disappeared. Moments later he reappeared using Hitomi as a human shield. She struggled to get free of his grip as senbon needles flew at her. Several lodged in her arms.

The remaining men fled. Hitomi tried to pull the needles out but realized her arms wouldn't move. Kakazu was watching her.

"Paralysis poisoning," he noted, tearing off strips of Hidan's already shredded cloak. He tied them around her arms at the shoulders so the poison wouldn't spread. "Maybe Leader-sama will know what to do when we get back to the hideout."

It felt like forever before they got to the hide out. Hitomi went right to Pein, who was more than a little pissed at Hidan. He had Hitomi sit down while he sent for Deidra. He stood in the door uncomfortably.

"Since the poison has affected Hitomi's arms, you are to help her do everything until it wears off."

Deidra swallowed hard. "Everything?"

Pein nodded and Hitomi stood up.

"Come on, I want to wash the blood out of my hair."

She left the room leaving a smirking Pein grinning at a very pale Deidra.

"Go," he ordered. "Before you have a nosebleed all over my carpet."


End file.
